The Cape Rouge, Port of Fandom, Monday

[betterthanaplan]

Right. So. This morning was a thing that had happened. On the one hand, Octavia seemed ready to talk, finally. On the other, it felt like Duke had just played "swap the important person in your life who's pissed at you".

"I'll make some coffee," Duke said, leading Octavia into the galley. "And . . . breakfast? Maybe?"

[for the girl]

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[okteiviakom]

"You've done an awful job with it lately anyway," Octavia rasped, because she could be unhelpfully prickly sometimes too. Couldn't help that dig, even though she regretted practically the second it was out of her mouth.

She shook her head. "I don't want perfect." Hadn't stopped her from acting like she did, though, had it? She reached out, turned on the water.

[betterthanaplan]

"Yeah, that's kind of hard to tell when any time I mess up even a little you shut down," Duke said. "I know I fucked up, Tavi. I've admitted it multiple times. But it'd be nice to get a little credit for when I do get it right."

[okteiviakom]

"The credit is that I came back."

Well...

"Or that I was coming back, when the island decided to do it for me. As usual."

[betterthanaplan]

"Oh great. So I'm supposed to just know that, when the last time I saw you in person, at the right age, and the right species, you were running like hell."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's hand clenched into a fist.

She stepped under the spray.

"Think you'll find the last time you saw me like that I was tending bar, and you thought I didn't see you."

[betterthanaplan]

"You saw that." Duke sighed. "I've had enough fights and meltdowns in public on this island. Wasn't looking to do it again."

[okteiviakom]

"Solid choice," Octavia rasped, subdued. She closed her eyes, took a moment to let the water wet her hair, plastering it to her skin so that the black strands criss-crossed over the black lines on her shoulders.

"Didn't warn you I'd be there, anyway."

[betterthanaplan]

"You didn't," Duke said. He stood outside the shower, leaning against the wall and watching her shadow through the curtain. He'd join her in a bit. When he felt more . . . settled. "And, uh. It's no excuse, but -- I've kind of had to deal with a lot lately. Haven didn't exactly let up after you left."

[okteiviakom]

"Mm."

There was not enough water to soothe her right now, and yet she was trying.

"I heard about Evi."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke let out a soft laugh. "Yeah, Luce got to meet her in Hell. Sent a demon up to sit on me until the guys who killed her were taken down. Nathan had already knocked me out and thrown me in a cell, and that was --" Another laugh, this one a bit more pained. "That was still just the beginning of it all."

[okteiviakom]

"I'm sorry."

Not about Evi, about the rest. But she didn't specify.

[betterthanaplan]

"He got the tattoo," Duke said softly. "Nathan did. Said if I was supposed to die at the hands of someone with a Guard tattoo, he 'had to be on the approved list'."

He sucked in a breath and pushed away from a wall. "Not that that's an excuse. I just -- I need somewhere I don't have to be perfect."

[okteiviakom]

"I'm gonna kill that guy," Octavia muttered, mostly to herself, but she couldn't help it.

She was just... so tired of Haven. Didn't seem fair to him that somehow she wasn't the only needlessly destructive and twisted up thing in his life.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke's whole life was needlessly destructive and twisted up, let's be real.

"Don't," he said softly. "I already lost one shitty ex. The fact that she was terrible didn't make it hurt less."

[okteiviakom]

"If he makes a move against you..."

Well. She couldn't make any promises.

[betterthanaplan]

"He won't," Duke said, shaking his head and leaning against the wall again. "He's way too law-abiding for that. This was just -- psychological warfare. He wanted to freak me out. Fuck me up. And, uh. It worked."

[okteiviakom]

"That's the only part I can respect," Octavia rasped. Purely from a strategic standpoint, of course, which explained her dry tone.

She shook her head, and reached for the shampoo. (Okay, the 3-in-1 because she was a brute.) "I'm sorry," she said again. "You're carrying too much, and I'm... Just adding to it."

[betterthanaplan]

"I get it. I know why you're . . . I just wish everything wasn't so all-or-nothing."

He wished that for himself, too. There was comfort in the shades of grey.

[okteiviakom]

"Yeah."

This was a bad time for their therapist to be MIA.

[betterthanaplan]

It really was.

Duke finally moved to join her in the shower, stepping in and offering her his hand.

“I like the new ink,” he said. “You get that in Baltimore?”

[okteiviakom]

Was he looking to hold her hand? Because he was getting handed the 3-in-1, now.

"Yeah," Octavia said, with a slow look down at the leg in question. "Four days after -- everything." A short pause, at the end of which she failed to keep herself from adding, "Three days after my birthday."

[betterthanaplan]

And Duke was just going to facepalm with that 3-in-1. “Aw fuck.”

[okteiviakom]

"Doesn't really matter," Octavia said, mildly. "Last one I paid any real attention to was the last one here."

No celebrations in the bunker.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shook his head. “Still. I’m sorry I missed it. That I made it so much worse than it should have been.”

He was never going to run out of things to apologize for, was he.

[okteiviakom]

"You can wash my hair now and rub coconut oil on my leg later, and we'll call it even," Octavia told him, soft and quiet and exhausted. Unwilling to beat him up about it any further. "I wasn't here for your last birthday, either."