Duke arched his back and stretched his arms over his head and let out a much louder, more decadent groan as his back cracked.

"Oh my god that feels so good," he muttered, eyes shut as he twisted one way, then the other, rolling his shoulders in alternate directions to try to loosen every muscle along his spine. "When did I get so creaky?"

Which would be when a beat up old satchel labeled "absolute terror of getting old" landed in his lap.

This fucking day.