The Cape Rouge, Port of Fandom, very VERY early Thursday morning

[betterthanaplan]

Duke was having a very rough night, his second in a row. Nightmares weren't unusual for him, but having them every time he closed his eyes was new. He kept having dreams about his childhood, of freezing in an unheated house in the Maine winter, his stomach cramping so hard from hunger the thought of actually eating just made him feel worse. He tried to distract himself with the good memories instead: the nights the McShaws invited him for dinner. Curling up with Octavia under warm covers on a cold night. Sharing a bed with Nathan, the night after their high school graduation.

But Geoff McShaw was dead. And Nathan hated him. And even his love for Octavia could get complicated.

So when his mind finally managed something resembling a good dream -- him and Nathan and Octavia, all together in an enormous bed -- it very quickly turned bad again.

Duke laughed as Nathan rolled him over, tossing him down on his back and straddling his hips. "You want it on top today, huh?"

Nathan wasn't laughing back, though. His face was flushed, his eyes red, like they'd been when that trouble had made him crazy. And his hands were sliding up Duke's chest, fastening around his throat.

Behind him, Octavia's eyes were wide and wet and wild as blood began to drip down over her chin. . . .

[for the one in the bed with him. Mmmm, BDE CONTENT WARNING: violence and gore]

Comments

[okteiviakom]

Octavia didn't know how to question a dream. Not even one like this that turned something upside down and asked her to reconsider - no, to accept an attraction she wouldn't even have considered while awake. It started out good, with warmth and skin and laughter and three of them, and maybe it had just taken seeing them together for her to see in Nathan what Duke saw in Nathan --

And then it took a turn that was much more familiar.

There was always blood.

In the bed, in the real world, Octavia's teeth were grinding together.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke struggled, his vision narrowing as Nathan continued to squeeze. He pried at Nathan's hands, shoved against his chest, his chin, but Nathan couldn't feel any of it. Not even when Duke swung wildly at his face.

"When you die," Nathan ground out, "it'll be because I killed you myself."

He was finally doing it. He was really going to kill Duke. Duke could feel his heart stuttering, like it did on the steps of the lighthouse, his lungs spasming and faltering as his body broke down. . . .

[okteiviakom]

There was always blood, and there was always a blade.

There was a knife in Octavia's hands.

And then the knife was in Nathan's back. Blood was spilling out of her mouth, now, dripping onto his bare shoulder.

[betterthanaplan]

Blood hit Duke's skin, and the rush hit Duke's brain. Nathan's, Octavia's, Duke's trouble didn't care whose. It just wanted more.

And Duke was happy enough to still be alive that he welcomed it. Embraced it.

He stopped recognizing the people in bed with him. Stopped seeing them as people. They were fountains, reservoirs of sweet, intoxicating blood.

Nathan was closer, so Duke went for him first, tearing into him with bare hands and teeth until there was nothing left. Until Duke's thirsty skin had sopped up every drop.

Then he turned on Octavia.

[okteiviakom]

Cuts had already appeared on her arms when he did. Her chest was stained red with the blood from her mouth, and she was holding her arms open for him.

She welcomed it.

(Except...

A deep panic had already flared up inside Octavia, but she couldn't control herself, like she was a spectator inside herself. Awake inside someone else's dream.)

[betterthanaplan]

Duke tackled her, lost in the homicidal haze of his trouble -- until he wasn't. Until he was staring in horror at her ecstatic expression, even as his hands dug in, searching for more blood.

The guilt and terror at the loss of control hit Duke like a tidal wave, washing him right out of his dream. He woke with a gasp to find himself still in bed, still tangled up with Octavia. He wrenched himself away from her and searched the room as best he could in the pre-dawn light.

Maybe there was still a chance. Maybe, if he just found Nathan fast enough, he could still somehow save him. . . .

[okteiviakom]

Octavia wasn't far behind him when it came to startling awake. Her eyes flew open, and her heart was beating much, much too fast.

She was quicker to tell nightmare from reality, though, pushing herself up on her elbows and trying to understand what she was seeing.

"Duke? Duke, what are you doing?"

[betterthanaplan]

"Nathan," Duke breathed, as he all but toppled out of the bed. Like he'd find Nathan's body tucked behind the night stand. "I -- oh god. I killed him --"

[okteiviakom]

Octavia tried to reach for him, but was too late. And froze for a few seconds, anyway, her brain taking a moment to right itself after that statement brought the dream rolling back to her.

She swallowed.

"You haven't killed anyone."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shook his head, his hand coming to his throat. "I did. I -- he was choking me, and -- and you were both bleeding, and I --" He sat down sharply on the floor, breath coming in rough gasps. "Oh god. I liked it."

[okteiviakom]

Jesus.

Octavia shoved the covers off of herself and crawled to the edge of the bed. The intention was to reach for him, but then she found she didn't dare to. Not just yet.

"That was a dream."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke had started to curl up, hyperventilating, but snapped into action when he sensed her getting close. He spun, scrambling backwards away from her, hand out as though to ward her off.

His lingering dream was blending with the memory of her in the hold, wiping blood from her chin onto her hands and grabbing him --

He hit the wall and balled up, wrapping his arms over his head.

He couldn't breathe. There wasn't enough air in here, and he couldn't breathe.

[okteiviakom]

Well. At least that reaction broke her heart less when she'd already been expecting it?

(It... didn't actually break her heart any less.)

Octavia forced her hands onto her lap, squeezing them together to keep from trying to reach for him again. "Hey," she said, sharp but not really a snap. "Look at me."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke was actually swallowing air now, but her tone was just sharp enough to penetrate. He flicked his eyes up, but couldn't hold her gaze long before his skittered away.

He was panicking. He knew that, on some level. He recognized this feeling, the paranoia and shakiness. He'd had that bad trip last fall, the one Delirium had had to help him out of, the one with the man and his eyes that were teeth. . . .

[okteiviakom]

"Hey!"

That one was a snap, out of necessity. Only one of them could be panicking, so Octavia was forcing herself lean on old habits.

Like sounding like her word shouldn't, couldn't be questioned.

"Eyes on me, jaka. I'm gonna need you to breathe with me."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke's breath caught and held, even as he continued swallowing convulsively.

Was holding his breath better than hyperventilating? Well, it was maybe a step in the direction of breathing properly again, anyway.

His eyes locked onto hers this time. That tone could not be ignored.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia had learned a long time ago how to make people listen to her. She'd also learned how to push much of her own discomfort aside, how to ignore herself, and with the way her heart was still thumping hard in her chest? That was coming in handy.

"Good," she said. "Now, you can do this. Breathe. In through the nose."

Her posture straightened as she demonstrated the inhale, breathing in deep.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke's breath shook and stuttered, coming too hard and quick, but he did his best to copy her pose anyway, follow her lead. Even if he was still taking something like three to her every one.

[okteiviakom]

"Slow it down if you can," Octavia said. A little softer now that she seemed to be holding his attention, but not by a lot. He wasn't going to be free of hearing orders before he was actually breathing normally unprompted. "In through the nose, out through the mouth."

She was faintly aware of the way her own adrenaline surge was dying down as she kept up her slow, deliberate breathing pattern.

[betterthanaplan]

Slowly, agonizingly slowly, Duke began to settle. His breathing slowed, and though his shoulders still shook, he stopped swallowing convulsively. He felt himself sag into the wall, exhaustion starting to drag on all his limbs, but he didn't take his eyes off Octavia again.

She was clean. Pale and beautiful and blood-free. She was safe. He hadn't hurt her.

He hadn't hurt Nathan either. Because Nathan wasn't here. He was back in Haven, which wasn't exactly safe right now, but at least was nowhere near Duke and his horrifying killer trouble.

His eyes and cheeks were wet. But he ignored them, just kept staring at Octavia and focusing on his breathing.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia was staring back at him, ignoring the remnants of the nightmare as they tried to drift back up. She could see his face, the way it was right now, not twisted by his trouble taking over.

In her lap, the blunt nails of one hand were still digging into the skin of the other.

She kept up the slow breathing for a long moment even after it seemed he was managing it. And when she finally spoke, her voice was more quiet, and a little rough. "I think I know what you saw."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke's head twitched back and forth in the tiniest of shakes, and he let out a rather hysterical laugh. "That obvious, am I?"

[okteiviakom]

Octavia really wished she hadn't heard that.

She really wanted to join him on the floor, to reach for him, to wrap him up. But she didn't move.

"No." She shook her head, though it was about as tiny a movement as his had been. "I think... I saw it too."

[betterthanaplan]

The laugh faded, but the tense smile remained. "How --" He swallowed again, only once, thankfully. "How's that possible?"

[okteiviakom]

"Because this is Fandom," Octavia rasped.

That just about covered it, right?