Lucifer's Mansion, late Wednesday night

[betterthanaplan]

It took Duke awhile to get really properly trashed -- another sign that maybe he needed to pull back on the casual drinking -- but once he was properly wobbly, he decided to lean into the impulse he'd had at the Devil's Nest tonight and show up drunk on Lucifer's doorstep.

He had a large glass of rum with him in one hand and a bottle of brandy tucked under the other arm. He set the rum down with great drunken ceremony and dignity at the end of Lucifer's front walk for the squirrels -- he really didn't need to be having anymore public meltdowns over this, thanks -- and then sprawled himself down onto Lucifer's front stoop.

And, because he was in fact a drunken sailor and it seemed thematic, he started to sing.

"Eliiiiiiise believe I never wanted this
I thought this time I'd keep all of my promises!"

He maybe should have put out more rum.

[For the one who lives here, and NFB please!]

Comments

[betterthanaplan]

“Bite your tongue!” Duke said. “You know it’s a form of malnutrition, right?”

Duke had made it a life’s mission to always eat as well as possible.

[my_own_advocate]

"Yes, and you get very touchy about the scurvy thing," Lucifer said, half-eyeroll and half-fond. "I know you eat your apple a day, I've seen you cook. I also know that's not why sailors got scurvy."

[betterthanaplan]

He got touchy about a lot of what he’d had to struggle with as a child, yeah.

“Then tell me,” Duke said. “I truth-or-dare you.”

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer snorted.

"Since you insisted I was being a coward last time, dare."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke had meant for Lucifer to tell him why sailors got scurvy, but he was drunk enough to just roll with the change of subject.

“I dare you,” he said slowly, looking around the room. “To record yourself singing the absolute silliest song you know and send it to Miss Lopez.”

[my_own_advocate]

Yes, well. Maybe Lucifer wasn't at his most focused right now, with all the languid draping happening right now.

"Oh, she'd love that, too," Lucifer sighed, but he obligingly ferreted out his phone and turned on the selfie camera.

Miss Lopez probably wouldn't send him messages inquiring about why he had a man in his lap. Probably. "Right, the silliest song I know..."

Look, he knew a lot of songs. A lot.

[betterthanaplan]

A man she'd met, even!

"I'm really looking forward to this," Duke told him, grin still firmly in place.

[my_own_advocate]

"I know a great deal of silly songs," Lucifer settled on, "but I'll go with something more contemporary for my audience."

And a bit inspired by Duke's performance just now.

He cleared his throat.

"Dear sir I write this note to you to tell ya of me plight, and at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight..."

It was long.

[betterthanaplan]

And interspersed with Duke's drunken snickering throughout. And occasional attempts to conduct.

Ella was going to love it.

[my_own_advocate]

"And I can only say," Lucifer concluded loudly, " That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today!"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke cheered and applauded. "Bravo! That was beautiful! Now send it!"

[my_own_advocate]

"What, are you afraid I'll weasel out of your dare?" Lucifer huffed, stopped the recording, and sent it.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shrugged, then stretched into a yawn like a cat. "I'm hopin' she'll reply before I pass out," he admitted.

[my_own_advocate]

"It's a miracle you've made it this far," Lucifer said, distracted.

... Very distracted.

[betterthanaplan]

"Thass me," Duke mumbled, eyes closing again. "Miracle man. 'S your turn."

[my_own_advocate]

"Truth or dare," Lucifer said, clearing his throat.

[betterthanaplan]

"Truth," Duke said. Because he'd done dare last time. And he was spiraling towards sleep.

[my_own_advocate]

Right. Not going to ask him anything too personal. Especially not while Lucifer was trying to dislodge the urge to slide a hand under Duke's shirt from his mind.

"What's the worst thing you've ever done while drunk?" he asked.

His phone chirped.

[betterthanaplan]

"Got married," Duke said immediately. "I do not recommend it."

[my_own_advocate]

"Lucky me that I physically can't do that, then," Lucifer said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Miss Lopez compliments me on my singing voice and wants to know 'what the f Duke is doing in my lap'."

So much for that hope.

[betterthanaplan]

"Being very comfy," Duke said. "How can you physically not get married?"

He was too drunk to remember that Lucifer couldn't get drunk.

[my_own_advocate]

"Physically not get drunk, I've been married," Lucifer specified, sliding the phone back into his pocket because he didn't want to think about it, frankly.

[betterthanaplan]

"Have I heard that story?" Duke asked sleepily. "Sounds like a good story."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer patted him gently, and brushed his fingers back through his hair.

"I never did tell you about Candy, did I?" he mused. "It was right after I found out about the gift thing. Or rather, mum found out and told me. So I left for Vegas, to process, and... find a way to figure out what mum was up to."

[betterthanaplan]

"Vegas seems like a good place for that," Duke mused, paying more attention to those fingers than he was to the story. "Processing."