The docks by the Samsara, Friday afternoon

[betterthanaplan]

Right, so. Talking things out with Lucifer yesterday had made some of Octavia's reaction on Wednesday more clear, and Duke definitely had some apologizing to do. (He still kind of thought she had some apologizing to do, too, but he didn't have high hopes for that. Baby steps.) So he was taking a bit of a page out of Lucifer's book and heading over to her boat with a present. Flowers, because they were traditional when apologizing to a significant other, and a whole pineapple. Because this was Octavia.

. . . There wasn't really anywhere to knock, was there. He was starting to see why people tended to end up just hovering awkwardly when they came to the Rouge for a visit.

[for the one whose boat it is!]

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[okteiviakom]

He got lucky after a moment. The hatch into the belly of the boat opened, and a coat-clad Octavia clambered out.

Well, halfway, anyway. As far as she got before she realized Duke was there.

"Oh," she said.

It sounded - and she looked - a little wary.

"Ha yun."

[betterthanaplan]

That was . . . fair. And also kind of disappointing.

Duke held up the pineapple and flowers. "Moba, gona."

[okteiviakom]

At least most of Octavia's even more unhelpful urges had died down by now.

She gave him a tiny nod. Tried not to look towards the flowers much.

"Kom op, jaka."

It was all the invitation he was getting before she stepped back down into her ship.

[betterthanaplan]

Well. He knew this wasn't going to be easy, anyway.

Duke climbed aboard and followed her into the cabin. "I, uh. Picked these," he said, waving the flowers slightly. "On the preserve. Figured you'd like that better than Covent Garden flowers."

[okteiviakom]

Octavia shrugged her coat off while he was talking, and went to put it away. Not like she was going anywhere now, and it also gave her an excuse not to look at him for a moment.

But now she did.

Sort of.

She looked at the flowers.

"You went on the preserve," she said, something in her tone softening. Even if it didn't quite yet reach her face.

[betterthanaplan]

"Well . . . yeah." Duke looked down at the flowers too, shrugging. "Not much of an apology present if it doesn't suit the person you're giving it to, right?"

[okteiviakom]

"You didn't need to bring me anything," Octavia muttered, dropping her gaze. "I wasn't going to."

Yes, that did mean she'd planned to apologize. Sans presents.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke noticed, and a little flash of surprise crossed his face before he could tamp it down.

"I wanted to," he said instead. "I was an ass. I shouldn't have thrown the whole . . . near threesome disaster in your face like that."

[okteiviakom]

"You shouldn't have," Octavia agreed, mildly, without any heat. She turned towards her little galley set-up. There had to be something she could use for the flowers.

"You remember that one fight we had on the beach?" she said, looking in the cabinet, her voice staying even. "When you didn't think I was trying enough."

Right before he'd found out how badly his first reveal of his non-monogamous wants had hit her. But this wasn't about that, not really.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke winced a little. "Yeah. I remember."

[okteiviakom]

"You tossing that back in my face, it felt a lot like that."

Maybe there was a big cup or something...

(Keeping herself occupied made this easier.)

"Like you don't see me. Even when I'm trying something, you're not seeing me."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke winced harder.

"It's -- tough," he said. "Sometimes. To see you. You keep your walls up so high, and when things get rough they go even higher. I'm not magic, Tavi. Not that way. I can't always see what you don't show me."

[okteiviakom]

"And I don't doubt that," Octavia rasped. "But that made me feel like you don't even see what I do show you."

And a lot like her progress didn't matter if she'd stumbled in the beginning.

[betterthanaplan]

"Maybe, sometimes. . . . I don't," Duke said slowly. He set the flowers and pineapple down and leaned against the bulkhead, looking at his hands. "I was pretty good at it, before you -- before the bunker. From my end, you changed so fast. And I don't know how to see you anymore."

[okteiviakom]

"I'm talking about a single thing, though."

The big mug would have to do. Octavia turned to face him.

"What do you think I'm doing with you and Lucifer? Because to me, that feels like a big, new, complicated thing that, yeah, I messed up with in the beginning. But we're not in the beginning anymore."

She reached for the flowers. Even though it felt wrong.

(These were not hands that should touch flowers anymore.)

"And you made me feel like that didn't count for you."

[betterthanaplan]

"It does count," Duke said. "A lot. But -- the way you brought it up --" He sighed, shoving his hand through his hair in frustration, unable to find the words to explain why her mentioning it in the context of last night had made him want to lash out.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia was going to prompt him anyway. Quiet, almost soft. Arranging the flowers in the mug on full autopilot.

(When she looked down at them, her hands didn't feel like her own.)

"What about it?"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shook his head, still groping for the words. "Like . . . you were saying you did that, so you don't have to do anything else. I don't get to ask you for any other -- silly favors."

His hands went into his hair again, tugging more and more of it out of his ponytail. "And I wasn't even talking about that. About the big stuff like that. I just -- experimenting with cocktails is such a little thing, until you put it next to dressing up. Or shoplifting. Or -- asking me out."

And there. That one. That was the one that really hurt. He'd made a joke out of it at the time, hadn't noticed how deeply it had hit him.

[okteiviakom]

Octavia's hands faltered. (Funnily enough, they felt more like hers again when they did that.) She looked up, confused.

Concerned.

"What?"

Was it bad she didn't even remember what he was talking about, now? Not immediately, anyway.

[betterthanaplan]

"I know it's stupid," Duke said. "Trust me, I definitely feel like an idiot. But sometimes it feels like you're rejecting my ideas because they're mine."

[okteiviakom]

"I'm not," Octavia said, immediately. With a little more of a tone to it than anything else she'd said so far. "It's not about you."

[betterthanaplan]

"Right." Duke nodded. "Like I said: it's stupid."

Nothing was ever about him, really.

[okteiviakom]

"It's not stupid," Octavia said, managing to grasp at one strand of what was going sideways here, at least. "I'm not trying to reject you."

[betterthanaplan]

"No, I know," Duke said. "I mean, Lucifer already made fun of me for even thinking that." He shook his head with a little laugh at himself. "Unfortunately, I've yet to manage to make my feelings listen to reason."

[okteiviakom]

After a pause, Octavia abandoned the flowers on the counter, and stepped closer to him. Reached for one -- no, both of his arms, putting her hands on them.

"Do these ideas really mean that much to you?"