Voicemail

[betterthanaplan]

"Buddha says 'All good things come to those who wait.' With that in mind, leave me a message."

*beep*

Comments

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer wasn't sentimental enough to send voicemails to a man he knew couldn't receive them anyway.

He was just bored, in the midst of a long tidying session, was all.

"I just want you to know that I bloody hate Maine," he said. "Never been to the state, but clearly I'm not missing out on anything. Shellfish, seafood, stealing people out of their beds in the night, not exactly a rousing reputation."

A pause.

"She's not doing very well," he added, "I mean, she's doing better than the first few days, but she's still not doing very well. And I keep telling her you're alive and you're coming back, so you'd better not even think about making a liar out of me."

A longer pause.

"I miss you."

...

"I'm chucking your phone out the window before you can hear this."

Beep.

[my_own_advocate]

A few days later:

"So I should mention, don't bother calling Octavia when you get your reception back. She smashed her phone in a counterproductive rage the day we found out you were gone."

A long pause.

"We got your letter," he said. "And if you think either of us is abandoning your boat, you're bloody mad, Crocker. Lay off the weed and get back here, we need someone to drive this tub."

Beep.

[my_own_advocate]

When Lucifer called in this time, he sounded much lighter. Matter-of-fact, as well.

Duke might recognize it as his 'no, everything is fine, and also can you give me some tips on how to break up with my stalker girlfriend' voice.

"So I contacted Miss Smith and she's bringing her portal gun out to bring us and the Rouge back to Fandom," he said. "She says she does this all the time, but just in case she zaps us to a locked-down Pancake Cafe world and your boat shatters on top of a poorly-designed fast food building or something, I'm sorry about that."

Beep.