Lucier's condo above Lux, LA, Monday (shhhh, timey wimey)

[betterthanaplan]

It was Duke's birthday.

It wasn't something he'd ever made a real big deal about. Most years he wouldn't even notice it happened until well after the day had already passed. But this year? This year, when he looked at the actual date, was one that couldn't be ignored.

According to math, today was the day that Duke turned fifty.

Of course, he'd traveled back and forth through time enough times -- and spent enough chunks of time in places where it just worked different -- that he had absolutely no idea what his "biological" age would be. For all he knew, his body had reset when Lucifer resurrected him and he was actually less than a year old. But his birth date had always been June 2, 1975. And the current date, Fandom-wise (and . . . maybe in this LA? His phone still kept Fandom time, as far as he could tell) was June 2, 2025.

Fifty years. Did he feel fifty? What did fifty even feel like? He knew what "old enough to just fuck off and die" felt like. He didn't feel like that. But hopefully he wouldn't have until he was in his 80s, anyway.

He sat sprawled on Lucifer's couch, a drink on the side table, and tilted his phone this way and that as he used the selfie mode to take in his "reflection". The silver at his temples didn't seem to have grown much over the last couple years, which he supposed was good. There were a few gray hairs in his beard these days, too. Where else was he supposed to see age? None of his parents or grandparents had stuck around long enough -- or lived long enough -- to even get old. He didn't have anything for perspective.

And again, time travel. So.

"Age ain't nothin' but a number," he muttered to himself. And tried to decide if the crows feet around his eyes were too prominent or not.

[for those in LA with him, for ALL the slow play, and look. Day-after is actually REALLY GOOD for me remembering this boy's birthday, okay??]

Comments

[my_own_advocate]

"Absolutely gorgeous," Lucifer confirmed.

He walked over to press a kiss to the top of Duke's head to seal it. "Honestly, darling, I don't know what you're worried about."

[betterthanaplan]

“I’m not. Usually.” Duke reached up to try to catch Lucifer’s . . . hand, maybe. Reached up to catch Lucifer. “I’m just. It’s dumb.”

[my_own_advocate]

"Tell me about it regardless?" Lucifer requested. He let Duke snag his hand. Gave a small, hopefully reassuring squeeze.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke squeezed back.

“It’s my fiftieth birthday. Calendar-wise.”

[my_own_advocate]

"Well, you remain quite nimble for a fifty-year-old," Lucifer said lightly, with an attempt at a reassuring smile. "Must be all that yoga."

[betterthanaplan]

“Of course I do,” Duke said, fondly amused. “Perspective on age from a celestial. Every human having a midlife crisis should get some.”

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer chuckled. "I also think it's too early for you to have one of those," he said, kissing the top of Duke's head. "You have been reborn, more or less."

[betterthanaplan]

"That is its own separate crisis," Duke admitted. "I've been trying not to think about it too much."

Largely failing, too.

[my_own_advocate]

"Why?" Lucifer said, frowning. "You're alive again, troubleless and free to do as you please. Seems like a happy thing to think about."

[betterthanaplan]

"Those things are all definitely good," Duke confirmed. "But thinking about them means also thinking about the part where I wasn't alive. The part where I was in Hell."

That towering lonely seat, stretching upward in the distance. . . .

"I don't like thinking about that part."

[my_own_advocate]

"Hell is not exactly anyone's idea of a good time, darling, trust me, I'm aware." Lucifer gave him a tiny nudge. "Let me sit?"

[betterthanaplan]

"Hence why I don't want to think about it," Duke said, shifting to make space for Lucifer. "I don't like thinking about how long you were stuck there."

Among . . . many other things he didn't like thinking about.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sank down in the seat next to him. "The trick I use is," he said, "I don't think about the 'Hell' part, I think about the 'I got out' part."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke nodded. "I'll work on that," he promised. He leaned in to give Lucifer a kiss along the line of his jaw. "I'm very glad you got out."

[my_own_advocate]

"And I am glad you came back to us," Lucifer said. His eyes closed briefly at the touch of Duke's lips.

[betterthanaplan]

"No place I'd rather be," Duke said, kissing Lucifer again. "No matter where we are. Fandom, LA, Haven . . . I'd live on the Ground if it meant I could be with you two."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out a soft exhale.

"We-- I-- spent so much time afraid Haven would take you from us," he murmured. "I'm still not entirely sure what to do with the thought it might now never happen."

[betterthanaplan]

"It did happen," Duke said on a sigh. "We're all just too stubborn to have let it stick."

[my_own_advocate]

"If it wasn't permanent, it doesn't count," Lucifer said. His head, shaking a little, as if to give the words strength.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke let out a soft huff of a laugh.

He really wished that was true. He gave Lucifer another kiss rather than argue, though.

[my_own_advocate]

"What?" Lucifer said, his brow creasing into a frown.

[betterthanaplan]

"It counts," Duke said softly. "We're -- I'm still feeling it." Hell still lingered behind his eyelids. "It counts."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer let out a sigh. "Right," he said. "I just mean... you're still here."

[betterthanaplan]

"I'm here," Duke agreed. "And I don't want to be anywhere else."

[my_own_advocate]

"And I am sorry that my own bloody mess has come to taunt us now," Lucifer sighed. "I just... I just want us to be able to be."