A church basement in Jonestown, Baltimore, Tuesday afternoon

[betterthanaplan]

So the incense good mood from that morning had worn off, and Duke had started to get anxious. The idea of Octavia hanging out in Baltimore attending community outreach meditation courses had stopped making sense again. Unless maybe she hit her head and was looking for something familiar? He headed to the mainland a little bit earlier than was strictly necessary to attend the tai chi class Jim had said Octavia would be coming to this evening, hoping to get some answers.

Jim was seated on the floor when he arrived, surrounded by thin, hungry looking older women, who all turned beatific smiles on Duke when he walked in.

"Duke!" Jim greeted. "Come in, come in! We were just finishing up a group chakra cleansing!"

Warning bells were (a bit belatedly) going off in Duke's head. "Chakra cleansing. Right. Cool."

That was not a thing. What the hell had he gotten himself into, here?

[NFB. For the one expected, and more cult-fighting hijinks. . . .]

Comments

[hatesparadise]

You had to know that Danny wasn't going to be a very surly version of back-up here, right? Because it was sort of his thing.

Which was why he was following Duke. To a pretty creepy AA sort of meeting of all things. Chakra? Really? Couldn't you just find a normal dealer like everyone else?

He stuck near the door, scoping out the place for any other exits in case this turned into something. And, with his life, it was gonna turn into something.

[betterthanaplan]

Ah, but a normal dealer couldn't prey on Duke's vulnerabilities like Jim and Mike could!

One of the older women stepped to the front of the group, her eyes wide. "Duke? Is that -- really you?"

Duke swallowed hard. "Mom." How was he even surprised anymore? "You, uh. You recognize me, huh?"

The woman rushed forward and wrapped Duke in a firm hug. "Of course I do, my darling boy! Oh, I'm so glad you've come to join us in Jim's love!"

Duke's hands slowly came up to hug her back, pausing just before he actually touched her and settling finally for a bro-pat to her shoulder blades. "Wow," he said. "This is . . . an actual for-real cult, isn't it."

[hatesparadise]

"...what the fuck?" Danny whispered to himself.

Could he know just one person without super fucked up mom issues? Could he? Please?

"Okay!" Danny said, letting his voice go up to a volume that couldn't really be ignored as he stepped forward. "C'mon. Time to go, Crocker."

[betterthanaplan]

Jim's expression turned hard. "I'm so sorry to hear you say that, Duke." He looked up at Danny came forward and nodded to someone lurking in the corner of the room. "Still, you and your friend are welcome here."

Duke pulled away from his mother to get up in Jim's face. "The hell is your gameplan here, man? You've never even seen Octavia, have you?"

Jim pulled what looked like an epi-pen from his pocket and jammed it into Duke's arm. Mike, lurking in the corner, lunged forward to do the same to Danny.

"No," Jim said, as Duke crumpled to his knees. "But we'll tell her you said 'hi' if we do."

[hatesparadise]

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Danny hissed, trying to draw his gun and fight off the person coming at him at the same time. Which ended in getting one shot off at the floor of the church before he was tackled and jabbed with unknown drugs. He staggered for a moment before everything went fuzzy and he was out on the floor.

Just like old times in Hawaii.

You know, this shit was supposed to happen to McGarrett, not him.

[betterthanaplan]

McGarrett wasn't here, so they had to make do!

For all her 'my darling boy' talk, Duke's mom was very chill about him passing out on the floor. She scooped him up and petted his hair, and looked to Jim for further instructions.

"Load them into the van. Someone's going to have heard that shot."

And Duke and Danny had to come to tied back-to-back in a warehouse, as was only good and proper!

[hatesparadise]

ALWAYS WITH THE CULTS.

"If I puke, I'm gonna kill someone," Danny muttered, feeling like his mouth was full of cotton and his head might split in two.

[betterthanaplan]

"Shhh," Duke hissed, and then immediately regretted it. "You're loud."

It was a very nice warehouse they were coming to in. Or maybe it was an old abandoned factory space. It was hard to tell so far, but they were in what was clearly an industrial broom closet.

At least it wasn't a meat locker?

Duke squinted at the bright yellow mop bucket in front of him. "I'm beginning to hate Baltimore."

[hatesparadise]

Warehouses were just bad places to be. They were always filled with drug dealers, gun runners, sometimes the Yakuza, and tetnus.

"Beginning to?" Danny snapped. Then winced because yes. The headache was still there. "I'm going to go find my gun and beat the crap out of the guy who drugged me."

[betterthanaplan]

"Ooo, great plan," Duke said. "That going to be before or after you escape these ropes?"

[hatesparadise]

"I don't know, maybe I'll use the chair to beat him with," Danny replied sarcastically, wriggling to test how loose he could get the ropes.

Would you believe this was far from the first time this had happened to him?

[betterthanaplan]

Duke would just say that was because he was a terrible cop.

"Not if I beat you to him," Duke grumbled. "Ow, hey! Give a guy room to breathe, here!"

Oh, the joys of being tied to someone.

[hatesparadise]

Rude and hurtful. If you got him drunk, he might agree with that statement in regard to being tied to chairs, though. Because saaaadness.

"I'm sorry, are you being delicate about escaping right now?"

[betterthanaplan]

"Yeah, silly me, getting upset about potentially smothering."

It was how he was really likely to die someday! Not that he knew that yet.

"Look, just hold still and let me see if they took my knife, okay?"

[hatesparadise]

"Well, let's just hope they're that dumb," Danny replied, going still as he looked around for a guard or maybe something helpful like, you know, an exit sign.

[betterthanaplan]

"They're a cult." Whether that meant they were dumb or not was still up for debate.

Duke rolled his shoulders back, stretching his arm as best he could while feeling for his back pocket.

". . . Fuck." He did not, in fact, have his knife.

[hatesparadise]

"Is that a no, Crocker?" Danny was now just being unhelpful.

[betterthanaplan]

"Shut up."

Yes. Yes it was.

"Okay. Okay, hang on. I've been in worse situations than this."

Admittedly he usually had someone to deliberately antagonize into making a mistake who wasn't also tied up.

[hatesparadise]

Wasn't that great!

"Are we sharing now? Is this a sharing hour?" Danny asked, going right on back to wriggling to loosen up the ropes a little bit.

[betterthanaplan]

"Sure. Let's start with how you ended up kidnapped by this cult." Duke had excuses! His girlfriend was missing and his damn mother showed up! "What, can you only arrest people when they politely turn around and tell you where their weapons are?"

[hatesparadise]

"Excuse me for being unaware you were involved in a dangerous cult," Danny snapped. "Next time I'll just leave you to it!"

[betterthanaplan]

"I could have handled it!"

No. No he couldn't have. Having someone to yell and/or snark at was a vital part of his handling process.

"And I'm not involved. They just. . . ." He dropped his head and sighed heavily. ". . . Noticed I was vulnerable and targeted me for recruitment. Fuck."

[hatesparadise]

It was therapy for everyone involved! But, ugh. Don't make it feel like this was kicking you while you were down, Duke.

"How about we just get out of here so I can contact the locals to round these idiots up?" Danny asked with an answering sigh. "And pretend none of this ever happened."

He went stiff as the sound of a door opening and closing echoed heavily through the building.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke should have known better! His dad had basically been in a cult when Duke was little, one that had occasionally tried to recruit him, too!

He was also just kind of ridiculously suggestible and open to manipulation. It was a problem.

Duke snapped his head back up at that sound, then started his own wriggling to try to loosen the ropes. "You couldn't have brought Diaz or someone for back up?" he hissed.

[hatesparadise]

"Back up for what exactly? I wasn't even expecting to get off the goddamn island," he snapped back. He was wasting his precious time away from that crappy island saving your ass rather than calling his daughter. Appreciate his sacrifice here. "Also, your mother, Crocker? Want to explain that?"

[betterthanaplan]

"I DIDN'T KNOW SHE'D BE HERE."

Duke. Duke, they were coming. Maybe don't yell.

"She's a junkie, man. Last time I saw her she didn't even recognize me. So of course she's wrapped up in a goddamn cult."

[hatesparadise]

Well, they were being loud and distracting enough to cover up the fact that those ropes were sort of coming loose.

"I want to know just how it can be that this sort of coincidence could happen." Seriously, the odds weren't in his favor there.

[betterthanaplan]

"Yeah, well. Welcome to Fandom." Duke shook his head. "Seriously, I hadn't seen her in like fifteen years, and then Octavia and I ran into her while on a date at the goddamn zoo."

And then she'd propositioned him in return for drugs and Duke had been a wreck for a month.

[hatesparadise]

"...so she knew you were around and lured you in." God, this was Steve's mom all over again! Only, you know. Not in the CIA.

[betterthanaplan]

"No. No." Duke squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. "Fuck, it wouldn't even be the first time she used me for -- whatever the fuck she's getting out of this."

Really, and people wondered how he'd ended up like he did.

"I hate everything about this. Literally everything."

[hatesparadise]

Yep. It was a Doris situation.

"You and me both, buddy," Danny said as one of the guys who had drugged him and who Danny was assuming was the leader of this little group came into view, looking utterly serene. It was the worst.

[betterthanaplan]

"Duke, my child," Jim said, smiling. "It's good to see you awake. Are you ready to come join us peacefully?"

". . . You going to untie us if I say yes?" Duke asked.

"You can't very well do tai chi tied to a chair, can you?" Jim asked. "Your cop friend though. . . ."

[hatesparadise]

"Is not really a tai chi person," Danny agreed blandly, acting like he wouldn't punch the guy in the throat the moment he got his hands free. His expression turned more grim as he noticed his gun in the other guy's hand.

Yeah, the punching thing was gonna happen a lot.

[betterthanaplan]

"He followed me here," Duke said, equally blandly. He tilted his head, looking past Jim towards the rest of the . . . let's just call it a 'compound'. That was the sort of thing cults had. "Can I keep him, Mom?"

Jim shook his head sadly. "You're not ready yet, are you." He put his hand along Duke's jaw. Duke jerked away. "And you showed such promise."

"You mean my bank account did," Duke said. "I'm guessing you're not getting a lot of cash from your burnout pals here."

[hatesparadise]

"Not even a successful cult, huh? That's gotta be rough," Danny said, grimacing as he strained against the bindings a little more.

Attention off the civilian in the room was a good thing in his estimation.

[betterthanaplan]

"That's such an ugly word, 'cult'. I provide a service. I help people." Jim smiled. "Didn't I help you, Duke? You went home yesterday feeling so much better!"

"Yeah, because you drugged your incense. Which . . . admittedly I should have noticed, so that's on me."

He'd managed to get his fingers onto a knot and started prying away at it. The unsuccessful cult also wasn't the best at tying people up, it seemed.

[hatesparadise]

Which was for the best!

Danny tilted his head, feeling that movement from Duke's side. They could work with this. "And now you're kidnapping a cop. Which, I gotta tell you, pal. It's a bad move. A supremely bad move."

[betterthanaplan]

"That . . . was an error, yes." Jim admitted. "One I'm planning to rectify shortly."

With Danny's own gun! It was kind of insulting, really.

"What, you don't want to recruit him, too?" Duke asked, eyeing that gun and picking a little harder at that knot. Almost. . . . Almost. . . . "A cop on your side could be useful. You don't want to report these nice people, do you, Williams?"

[hatesparadise]

Danny went tense next to him, giving himself some pretty great rope burn as he tried to take advantage of what Duke was doing. "Sure. Can't be any worse than my last boss."

[betterthanaplan]

Jim's serene facade finally started to crack. He tightened his grip on Danny's gun and took aim.

"Woah!" Duke's eyes went wide. "Hey, there's no need for that. You want me in your little band? That can be arranged. But not if you shoot the guy who's tied to me."

[hatesparadise]

Nope. This was one big ol' nope for Danny for a variety of reasons. He was literally never going anywhere again without his vest.

He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a shaky breath before scrambling with the knot on his side until it came free. He really, really missed those super-SEAL powers right about now, but wasn't going to stop him from surging up to grab for Jim's wrist to point the gun away from Duke and him.

[betterthanaplan]

Jim fired two shots, both wild. One exploded a bottle of vinegar.

Duke moved the moment he felt the ropes slacken, shoving backward and toppling with both chairs before rolling free. He grabbed the mop he'd been stuck staring at and whacked Mike when he came barrelling through the door to protect his precious leader.

The ensuing fight upset one of the shelves and set a bottle of bleach rocking. Because what this situation needed was an accidental cloud of poisonous gas. . . .

[hatesparadise]

Oh, it was totally what they needed!

Danny slammed an elbow into Jim's face, one hand on the gun, the other going to his wrist to break the damn thing in order to get his gun back. He was just choke full of anger right about now. "Down! Both of you down!"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke brandished his mop through the door like a sword, waving it to keep the various acolytes outside back.

"You going to, like, arrest them now or something?"

The bleach bottle rocked again, then toppled, the cap popping loose.

[hatesparadise]

"You've got to be kidding me," Danny hissed as the vinegar and bleach swirled together on the ground. "Out! Everyone out!"

He did not need another exposure to chemical agents, Duke. His insurance would have a fit.

[betterthanaplan]

Another? How was he even still insured?

"What?" Duke looked over and pressed his sleeve to his mouth, coughing. "Right." He flipped the mop so he was holding it sideways, and used it to shove the acolytes away from the door em masse. "You heard Super Cop, out!"

[hatesparadise]

In his defense, that first time was on the job. They had to cover it.

Danny gave Jim a little kick as the man scrambled up, cradling his broken wrist to his chest. And yes, that made Danny feel just a tiny bit better about having a gun pointed at him before. "I hate this place," he hissed. "You have your phone?"

[betterthanaplan]

Jim hissed at him. Like, actually hissed.

"Mom," Duke barked, still herding people away. "Phone! Now!" His mom fumbled for her pockets, looking deeply confused, but handed a piece of shit burner to him anyway. He passed her the mop instead. "Thank you. Now do the second useful thing you've ever done in your life and get people out of here."

He turned and tossed the phone to Danny. Then slugged Mike when it looked like he was getting ideas.

[hatesparadise]

Danny said absolutely nothing about that punch as he caught the phone with one hand. Because, as an officer of the law, he didn't even see it. Weird, right?

"You two are staying with us," Danny said to Jim and Mike, barely looking away long enough to dial 911. "Because you two are going to jail now."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke coughed into his sleeve again, looking from Danny's little arresting party and the door. "That's nice, can we maybe do the smug posturing part outside now?"

Weirdly enough, he was unwilling to leave his new cop frenemy alone with two bad guys and a growing cloud of poisonous gas. He was just that kind of a guy.

[hatesparadise]

"Go," Danny said, pointing a gun at the two of them. "If you think about running, just know that I am pissed enough to not bother with a warning shot."

Steve was a terrible influence on him.

He followed after them, giving details of the situation to the dispatcher unfortunate enough to pick up the call.

[betterthanaplan]

The acolytes were all gathered in a cluster on the sidewalk, looking alternately spooked or stoned. Duke's mom stood at the front, clutching the mop. Duke scowled to himself as he got outside, then went over to go check on him.

She backed up, staring at him like he'd grown an extra head. He sighed. "Yeah. That figures." He dug for his wallet, figuring he could at least offer her a couple bucks, and discovered that it, like his knife, was missing. "Goddammit." He turned back to Danny. "Either of those dicks have my wallet?"

[hatesparadise]

"Answer the man," Danny said, resting the phone against his neck for a moment. "Knife, wallet. Whatever else you guys took. My badge."

Was this the sort of thing Duke had expected from his new frenemy?

"Any of the locals ask, you're my CI. Got it?"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shuddered. "That's just insulting." He shrugged. "But if it keeps me out of jail. . . ."

Jim and Mike didn't look much like they wanted to cooperate. Duke rolled his eyes and went to go check their pockets.

"Wallet." He shoved that into his own pocket. "Badge." Held up to show Danny. "Seriously? Still with the Hawaii?" He looked at Jim. "What were you even going to do with a random Hawaii police badge?"

[hatesparadise]

"Shut up and hand it over." He might cry if he gave that badge up. Legit cry. Once the call was over, he offered the phone back over to Duke in exchange for it.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke made the trade. Then quietly emptied the rest of Jim and Mike's pockets, keeping any cash he found for himself. He considered pocketing the eighth he found on Mike, but held it up instead.

"In case they can't make the cult thing stick?"

[hatesparadise]

"Cult thing is pretty nebulous. Assault of a police officer, false imprisonment, and attempted murder? Those are gonna be easier." And Danny would viciously help with that report. "Put it back. You're not actually a CI, Duke."

Though he may want to check on the status of his mother instead, in case she pulled a runner on them.

[betterthanaplan]

"God forbid." Duke made a show of putting it back. (And resisted the urge to palm it instead. They'd only notice it missing later, and he didn't need a reason for Danny to look any closer at him than he already was.)

"Right." He turned to the acolytes -- including his mom -- and looked them over. "You ladies alright? Got somewhere to stay tonight?"

This was how he'd ended up with a very confused young woman living on his boat with him, Danny. This right here. Only, you know, in an aquarium after hours because he'd broken in. . . .

[hatesparadise]

If he assaulted another guard for that...

Danny dug around in his pockets for zip-ties that had been either missed or disregarded as worthless when they'd searched him in order to secure their ring-leaders.

He sighed, watching Duke do his thing as he tugged the tie a little too snug on Jim there. "You sure you're not a social worker?"

[betterthanaplan]

He had not!

. . . Octavia had.

"Just a concerned citizen, Detective." He shook his head, dropping his voice into a mutter. "Keeping a roof over my head was basically the only thing my mom ever did for me, it's the least I can do for her."

Duke's mom had melted into the back of the pack, and was absolutely about to pull a runner.

[hatesparadise]

Because that's what happens with family in sad, sad canons. That and probably murder.

Danny sighed, securing the other guy before holstering his gun again. "I'm not saying you shouldn't do that."

[betterthanaplan]

There was definitely murder involved, yes!

"Then what are you saying?" Duke asked. "These women are victims of these guys. They're scared and confused and --" He glanced back. "-- Aaaaaaaaand Mom's gone again."

[hatesparadise]

"That you're not equipped to deal with it on your own," Danny said dryly. "You need a moment?"

Maybe a tissue?

[betterthanaplan]

"I'm fine." He was basically numb at this point. But he was going to get very drunk this evening! "Was just -- trying to help."

[hatesparadise]

Danny gave him A Look as sirens finally sounded in the distance. "Right."

[betterthanaplan]

"You're the guy they were just threatening to shoot," Duke pointed out. "You doing okay?"

He'd noticed that whole He-Man, busting out of the ropes bit, Danny.

[hatesparadise]

Well, it was that or a panic attack and he felt he chose correctly. "Me? I'm drugged and pissed off. It's been an absolutely terrible day, so I am the opposite of okay, honestly."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke raised his eyebrows at that. ". . . Respect." That was almost ridiculously emotionally healthy by Duke's standards, Danny! "You know, if you weren't a cop, we might actually get along."

Nahhhhhhhhh.

[hatesparadise]

It was because he was too used to being around Steve who lacked emotional awareness. Leading by example, if you will.

Danny rolled his eyes, huffing out a laugh before something hit him. "Phone. Phone now."

He was off that goddamn island. He could call his daughter.

[betterthanaplan]

Well, it wasn't like he was going to give it back to his mom. Duke tossed him the phone back.

"Who you going to call? You already got the local cops coming in."

If that CI line didn't hold up, Duke was going to be very unhappy. He'd managed to avoid the Baltimore cops really well so far.

[hatesparadise]

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon," Danny muttered to himself as the phone rang and rang and... actually picked up.

"Hi, Danno," came the phone over the other end.

"Hi, monkey," Danny said and it was like a switch at been completely flipped in his behavior because he was hearing his daughter's voice again. Did he sound a little choked up? Maybe. It was a bad couple weeks, okay? Sue him.

Welcome to the feelings zone, Duke.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke's mouth formed a little O as he saw that switch.

He backed off a bit, tugging the two zip-tied cultists with him, to give Danny some space.

[hatesparadise]

Which was the nicest thing he could have done for Danny at that very moment.

He paced back and forth, listening to Grace tell him about what she'd done in Las Vegas with her mother and Step-Stan almost word for word the very same thing she'd said to him before he'd left New Jersey. At least he had some confirmation that time wasn't passing outside like it was on the island.

"I know, it's on my calendar," he promised her, clutching at this like a goddamn lifeline. "Cheer competition. Bold letters. Yeah. Yeah. Danno loves you, okay? I--okay. Okay, be good for your mom until I get there tomorrow."

Once the call disconnected on her end, he wordlessly passed the phone back over to Duke.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke took the phone, studying Danny's expression.

"You can't call from the island, can you," he said. "How long has it been since you last talked to your people?"

[hatesparadise]

"That was the exact conversation I had with my daughter before I even got there," he muttered, rubbing his forehead.

[betterthanaplan]

"Shit."

There wasn't that much more you could say to something like that.

"No wonder you're such an asshole."

And yet, Duke found something anyway.

[hatesparadise]

Danny was so strongly reminded of Steve at that moment, it startled a laugh out of him. "You're a putz, you know that?"

[betterthanaplan]

"That is . . . the absolute least of what I've been called, yes."

[hatesparadise]

Danny took a deep breath, dragging his hand over his mouth before letting out a sigh. "Alright. C'mon. Let's get these people taken care of and you can go back to that hellscape of an island."

[betterthanaplan]

Shit. Duke reached for Danny's arm and gave him a serious look. "The island wants you back on it, man, it'll get you back on it."

Octavia had tried to leave for years. Then, when she finally stopped trying and started having a life. . . .

He was going to get so trashed tonight.

[hatesparadise]

Yeeeeeep. All the drinking was going to happen. Sorry Danny was just being a very obvious example of Octavia's story on the island for you, Duke.

Weird how that happened.

"Not like I can even explain this to anyone if I do get away," Danny muttered. "It's insane."

[betterthanaplan]

"And you haven't even been turned into anything yet."

[hatesparadise]

"I will shoot you, Crocker."

[betterthanaplan]

"Better men than you have tried, Officer."

[hatesparadise]

Danny flipped him off, striding off to go meet the uniformed cops who arrived first. This part he was comfortable handling. This part right here was normal and totally comfortable.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke, on the other hand, was looking like he'd very much prefer to pull the same disappearing act as his mom had.

Oh god, he was totally going to get called as a witness if this went to trial, wasn't he.