A church basement in Jonestown, Baltimore, Tuesday afternoon

[betterthanaplan]

So the incense good mood from that morning had worn off, and Duke had started to get anxious. The idea of Octavia hanging out in Baltimore attending community outreach meditation courses had stopped making sense again. Unless maybe she hit her head and was looking for something familiar? He headed to the mainland a little bit earlier than was strictly necessary to attend the tai chi class Jim had said Octavia would be coming to this evening, hoping to get some answers.

Jim was seated on the floor when he arrived, surrounded by thin, hungry looking older women, who all turned beatific smiles on Duke when he walked in.

"Duke!" Jim greeted. "Come in, come in! We were just finishing up a group chakra cleansing!"

Warning bells were (a bit belatedly) going off in Duke's head. "Chakra cleansing. Right. Cool."

That was not a thing. What the hell had he gotten himself into, here?

[NFB. For the one expected, and more cult-fighting hijinks. . . .]

Comments

[betterthanaplan]

"No. No." Duke squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. "Fuck, it wouldn't even be the first time she used me for -- whatever the fuck she's getting out of this."

Really, and people wondered how he'd ended up like he did.

"I hate everything about this. Literally everything."

[hatesparadise]

Yep. It was a Doris situation.

"You and me both, buddy," Danny said as one of the guys who had drugged him and who Danny was assuming was the leader of this little group came into view, looking utterly serene. It was the worst.

[betterthanaplan]

"Duke, my child," Jim said, smiling. "It's good to see you awake. Are you ready to come join us peacefully?"

". . . You going to untie us if I say yes?" Duke asked.

"You can't very well do tai chi tied to a chair, can you?" Jim asked. "Your cop friend though. . . ."

[hatesparadise]

"Is not really a tai chi person," Danny agreed blandly, acting like he wouldn't punch the guy in the throat the moment he got his hands free. His expression turned more grim as he noticed his gun in the other guy's hand.

Yeah, the punching thing was gonna happen a lot.

[betterthanaplan]

"He followed me here," Duke said, equally blandly. He tilted his head, looking past Jim towards the rest of the . . . let's just call it a 'compound'. That was the sort of thing cults had. "Can I keep him, Mom?"

Jim shook his head sadly. "You're not ready yet, are you." He put his hand along Duke's jaw. Duke jerked away. "And you showed such promise."

"You mean my bank account did," Duke said. "I'm guessing you're not getting a lot of cash from your burnout pals here."

[hatesparadise]

"Not even a successful cult, huh? That's gotta be rough," Danny said, grimacing as he strained against the bindings a little more.

Attention off the civilian in the room was a good thing in his estimation.

[betterthanaplan]

"That's such an ugly word, 'cult'. I provide a service. I help people." Jim smiled. "Didn't I help you, Duke? You went home yesterday feeling so much better!"

"Yeah, because you drugged your incense. Which . . . admittedly I should have noticed, so that's on me."

He'd managed to get his fingers onto a knot and started prying away at it. The unsuccessful cult also wasn't the best at tying people up, it seemed.

[hatesparadise]

Which was for the best!

Danny tilted his head, feeling that movement from Duke's side. They could work with this. "And now you're kidnapping a cop. Which, I gotta tell you, pal. It's a bad move. A supremely bad move."

[betterthanaplan]

"That . . . was an error, yes." Jim admitted. "One I'm planning to rectify shortly."

With Danny's own gun! It was kind of insulting, really.

"What, you don't want to recruit him, too?" Duke asked, eyeing that gun and picking a little harder at that knot. Almost. . . . Almost. . . . "A cop on your side could be useful. You don't want to report these nice people, do you, Williams?"

[hatesparadise]

Danny went tense next to him, giving himself some pretty great rope burn as he tried to take advantage of what Duke was doing. "Sure. Can't be any worse than my last boss."

[betterthanaplan]

Jim's serene facade finally started to crack. He tightened his grip on Danny's gun and took aim.

"Woah!" Duke's eyes went wide. "Hey, there's no need for that. You want me in your little band? That can be arranged. But not if you shoot the guy who's tied to me."

[hatesparadise]

Nope. This was one big ol' nope for Danny for a variety of reasons. He was literally never going anywhere again without his vest.

He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a shaky breath before scrambling with the knot on his side until it came free. He really, really missed those super-SEAL powers right about now, but wasn't going to stop him from surging up to grab for Jim's wrist to point the gun away from Duke and him.

[betterthanaplan]

Jim fired two shots, both wild. One exploded a bottle of vinegar.

Duke moved the moment he felt the ropes slacken, shoving backward and toppling with both chairs before rolling free. He grabbed the mop he'd been stuck staring at and whacked Mike when he came barrelling through the door to protect his precious leader.

The ensuing fight upset one of the shelves and set a bottle of bleach rocking. Because what this situation needed was an accidental cloud of poisonous gas. . . .

[hatesparadise]

Oh, it was totally what they needed!

Danny slammed an elbow into Jim's face, one hand on the gun, the other going to his wrist to break the damn thing in order to get his gun back. He was just choke full of anger right about now. "Down! Both of you down!"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke brandished his mop through the door like a sword, waving it to keep the various acolytes outside back.

"You going to, like, arrest them now or something?"

The bleach bottle rocked again, then toppled, the cap popping loose.

[hatesparadise]

"You've got to be kidding me," Danny hissed as the vinegar and bleach swirled together on the ground. "Out! Everyone out!"

He did not need another exposure to chemical agents, Duke. His insurance would have a fit.

[betterthanaplan]

Another? How was he even still insured?

"What?" Duke looked over and pressed his sleeve to his mouth, coughing. "Right." He flipped the mop so he was holding it sideways, and used it to shove the acolytes away from the door em masse. "You heard Super Cop, out!"

[hatesparadise]

In his defense, that first time was on the job. They had to cover it.

Danny gave Jim a little kick as the man scrambled up, cradling his broken wrist to his chest. And yes, that made Danny feel just a tiny bit better about having a gun pointed at him before. "I hate this place," he hissed. "You have your phone?"

[betterthanaplan]

Jim hissed at him. Like, actually hissed.

"Mom," Duke barked, still herding people away. "Phone! Now!" His mom fumbled for her pockets, looking deeply confused, but handed a piece of shit burner to him anyway. He passed her the mop instead. "Thank you. Now do the second useful thing you've ever done in your life and get people out of here."

He turned and tossed the phone to Danny. Then slugged Mike when it looked like he was getting ideas.

[hatesparadise]

Danny said absolutely nothing about that punch as he caught the phone with one hand. Because, as an officer of the law, he didn't even see it. Weird, right?

"You two are staying with us," Danny said to Jim and Mike, barely looking away long enough to dial 911. "Because you two are going to jail now."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke coughed into his sleeve again, looking from Danny's little arresting party and the door. "That's nice, can we maybe do the smug posturing part outside now?"

Weirdly enough, he was unwilling to leave his new cop frenemy alone with two bad guys and a growing cloud of poisonous gas. He was just that kind of a guy.

[hatesparadise]

"Go," Danny said, pointing a gun at the two of them. "If you think about running, just know that I am pissed enough to not bother with a warning shot."

Steve was a terrible influence on him.

He followed after them, giving details of the situation to the dispatcher unfortunate enough to pick up the call.

[betterthanaplan]

The acolytes were all gathered in a cluster on the sidewalk, looking alternately spooked or stoned. Duke's mom stood at the front, clutching the mop. Duke scowled to himself as he got outside, then went over to go check on him.

She backed up, staring at him like he'd grown an extra head. He sighed. "Yeah. That figures." He dug for his wallet, figuring he could at least offer her a couple bucks, and discovered that it, like his knife, was missing. "Goddammit." He turned back to Danny. "Either of those dicks have my wallet?"

[hatesparadise]

"Answer the man," Danny said, resting the phone against his neck for a moment. "Knife, wallet. Whatever else you guys took. My badge."

Was this the sort of thing Duke had expected from his new frenemy?

"Any of the locals ask, you're my CI. Got it?"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shuddered. "That's just insulting." He shrugged. "But if it keeps me out of jail. . . ."

Jim and Mike didn't look much like they wanted to cooperate. Duke rolled his eyes and went to go check their pockets.

"Wallet." He shoved that into his own pocket. "Badge." Held up to show Danny. "Seriously? Still with the Hawaii?" He looked at Jim. "What were you even going to do with a random Hawaii police badge?"