A church basement in Jonestown, Baltimore, Tuesday afternoon

[betterthanaplan]

So the incense good mood from that morning had worn off, and Duke had started to get anxious. The idea of Octavia hanging out in Baltimore attending community outreach meditation courses had stopped making sense again. Unless maybe she hit her head and was looking for something familiar? He headed to the mainland a little bit earlier than was strictly necessary to attend the tai chi class Jim had said Octavia would be coming to this evening, hoping to get some answers.

Jim was seated on the floor when he arrived, surrounded by thin, hungry looking older women, who all turned beatific smiles on Duke when he walked in.

"Duke!" Jim greeted. "Come in, come in! We were just finishing up a group chakra cleansing!"

Warning bells were (a bit belatedly) going off in Duke's head. "Chakra cleansing. Right. Cool."

That was not a thing. What the hell had he gotten himself into, here?

[NFB. For the one expected, and more cult-fighting hijinks. . . .]

Comments

[hatesparadise]

Danny went tense next to him, giving himself some pretty great rope burn as he tried to take advantage of what Duke was doing. "Sure. Can't be any worse than my last boss."

[betterthanaplan]

Jim's serene facade finally started to crack. He tightened his grip on Danny's gun and took aim.

"Woah!" Duke's eyes went wide. "Hey, there's no need for that. You want me in your little band? That can be arranged. But not if you shoot the guy who's tied to me."

[hatesparadise]

Nope. This was one big ol' nope for Danny for a variety of reasons. He was literally never going anywhere again without his vest.

He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a shaky breath before scrambling with the knot on his side until it came free. He really, really missed those super-SEAL powers right about now, but wasn't going to stop him from surging up to grab for Jim's wrist to point the gun away from Duke and him.

[betterthanaplan]

Jim fired two shots, both wild. One exploded a bottle of vinegar.

Duke moved the moment he felt the ropes slacken, shoving backward and toppling with both chairs before rolling free. He grabbed the mop he'd been stuck staring at and whacked Mike when he came barrelling through the door to protect his precious leader.

The ensuing fight upset one of the shelves and set a bottle of bleach rocking. Because what this situation needed was an accidental cloud of poisonous gas. . . .

[hatesparadise]

Oh, it was totally what they needed!

Danny slammed an elbow into Jim's face, one hand on the gun, the other going to his wrist to break the damn thing in order to get his gun back. He was just choke full of anger right about now. "Down! Both of you down!"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke brandished his mop through the door like a sword, waving it to keep the various acolytes outside back.

"You going to, like, arrest them now or something?"

The bleach bottle rocked again, then toppled, the cap popping loose.

[hatesparadise]

"You've got to be kidding me," Danny hissed as the vinegar and bleach swirled together on the ground. "Out! Everyone out!"

He did not need another exposure to chemical agents, Duke. His insurance would have a fit.

[betterthanaplan]

Another? How was he even still insured?

"What?" Duke looked over and pressed his sleeve to his mouth, coughing. "Right." He flipped the mop so he was holding it sideways, and used it to shove the acolytes away from the door em masse. "You heard Super Cop, out!"

[hatesparadise]

In his defense, that first time was on the job. They had to cover it.

Danny gave Jim a little kick as the man scrambled up, cradling his broken wrist to his chest. And yes, that made Danny feel just a tiny bit better about having a gun pointed at him before. "I hate this place," he hissed. "You have your phone?"

[betterthanaplan]

Jim hissed at him. Like, actually hissed.

"Mom," Duke barked, still herding people away. "Phone! Now!" His mom fumbled for her pockets, looking deeply confused, but handed a piece of shit burner to him anyway. He passed her the mop instead. "Thank you. Now do the second useful thing you've ever done in your life and get people out of here."

He turned and tossed the phone to Danny. Then slugged Mike when it looked like he was getting ideas.

[hatesparadise]

Danny said absolutely nothing about that punch as he caught the phone with one hand. Because, as an officer of the law, he didn't even see it. Weird, right?

"You two are staying with us," Danny said to Jim and Mike, barely looking away long enough to dial 911. "Because you two are going to jail now."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke coughed into his sleeve again, looking from Danny's little arresting party and the door. "That's nice, can we maybe do the smug posturing part outside now?"

Weirdly enough, he was unwilling to leave his new cop frenemy alone with two bad guys and a growing cloud of poisonous gas. He was just that kind of a guy.

[hatesparadise]

"Go," Danny said, pointing a gun at the two of them. "If you think about running, just know that I am pissed enough to not bother with a warning shot."

Steve was a terrible influence on him.

He followed after them, giving details of the situation to the dispatcher unfortunate enough to pick up the call.

[betterthanaplan]

The acolytes were all gathered in a cluster on the sidewalk, looking alternately spooked or stoned. Duke's mom stood at the front, clutching the mop. Duke scowled to himself as he got outside, then went over to go check on him.

She backed up, staring at him like he'd grown an extra head. He sighed. "Yeah. That figures." He dug for his wallet, figuring he could at least offer her a couple bucks, and discovered that it, like his knife, was missing. "Goddammit." He turned back to Danny. "Either of those dicks have my wallet?"

[hatesparadise]

"Answer the man," Danny said, resting the phone against his neck for a moment. "Knife, wallet. Whatever else you guys took. My badge."

Was this the sort of thing Duke had expected from his new frenemy?

"Any of the locals ask, you're my CI. Got it?"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shuddered. "That's just insulting." He shrugged. "But if it keeps me out of jail. . . ."

Jim and Mike didn't look much like they wanted to cooperate. Duke rolled his eyes and went to go check their pockets.

"Wallet." He shoved that into his own pocket. "Badge." Held up to show Danny. "Seriously? Still with the Hawaii?" He looked at Jim. "What were you even going to do with a random Hawaii police badge?"

[hatesparadise]

"Shut up and hand it over." He might cry if he gave that badge up. Legit cry. Once the call was over, he offered the phone back over to Duke in exchange for it.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke made the trade. Then quietly emptied the rest of Jim and Mike's pockets, keeping any cash he found for himself. He considered pocketing the eighth he found on Mike, but held it up instead.

"In case they can't make the cult thing stick?"

[hatesparadise]

"Cult thing is pretty nebulous. Assault of a police officer, false imprisonment, and attempted murder? Those are gonna be easier." And Danny would viciously help with that report. "Put it back. You're not actually a CI, Duke."

Though he may want to check on the status of his mother instead, in case she pulled a runner on them.

[betterthanaplan]

"God forbid." Duke made a show of putting it back. (And resisted the urge to palm it instead. They'd only notice it missing later, and he didn't need a reason for Danny to look any closer at him than he already was.)

"Right." He turned to the acolytes -- including his mom -- and looked them over. "You ladies alright? Got somewhere to stay tonight?"

This was how he'd ended up with a very confused young woman living on his boat with him, Danny. This right here. Only, you know, in an aquarium after hours because he'd broken in. . . .

[hatesparadise]

If he assaulted another guard for that...

Danny dug around in his pockets for zip-ties that had been either missed or disregarded as worthless when they'd searched him in order to secure their ring-leaders.

He sighed, watching Duke do his thing as he tugged the tie a little too snug on Jim there. "You sure you're not a social worker?"

[betterthanaplan]

He had not!

. . . Octavia had.

"Just a concerned citizen, Detective." He shook his head, dropping his voice into a mutter. "Keeping a roof over my head was basically the only thing my mom ever did for me, it's the least I can do for her."

Duke's mom had melted into the back of the pack, and was absolutely about to pull a runner.

[hatesparadise]

Because that's what happens with family in sad, sad canons. That and probably murder.

Danny sighed, securing the other guy before holstering his gun again. "I'm not saying you shouldn't do that."

[betterthanaplan]

There was definitely murder involved, yes!

"Then what are you saying?" Duke asked. "These women are victims of these guys. They're scared and confused and --" He glanced back. "-- Aaaaaaaaand Mom's gone again."

[hatesparadise]

"That you're not equipped to deal with it on your own," Danny said dryly. "You need a moment?"

Maybe a tissue?